ReDiscovering Myself- AGAIN!

Ever-since a news that made history in India for all the wrong reasons I started to re-discover myself and there are very-many changes happening to the way I see and approach my Life. Certainly 4 years before I had my dreams to become some Super cool Coder in Microsoft, one year later- Google dreams and a year later- a Facebook job ( though I couldn’t take any furthur steps with them courtesy to my Educational System) but these dreams as I think of them now asks me the question am I really the person who really had these dreams of living in some never been before country, keeping all the values learned so far to heart and live the opposite and finally get lost in the flamboyant culture-less western culture at the quest for making useless money and be a part of living some one else dream with a guilty feeling of doing nothing to the country and the family that brought you up and fed you all this while.

Yes I am confused, I really don’t know and I am still in the quest of finding why am I here in this world. The problem is never  really had any dreams that are really Big  or put it in right words: dreams that are different or dreams that are MY SOUL”s DREAMs; dreams that my soul really longs for. Certainly When I sit down to type this piece of my anecdote I am quite aware that the last 4 months have changed me a lot, certainly the way I see my life now. Ever since I came from Sabarimalai in Jan’12, I happen to see a couple of movies that says: ” Follow your Heart” and adding to it I have picked up my new hobby of searching good books and reading. Perhaps reading : Alchemist, Valkyries, My Life-Andre Agassi, Steve Jobs Biography, The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs and the list goes on; haved changed me alot. Life as I see it now is to find my DREAM and not to LIVE SOMEONE ELSE dream, yes I wanted to get into Microsoft, Google, Facebook . . Now When I think of it I could only look into my face and laugh at the innocence.

All my life so far I was greatly influenced by my friends or people near by who have attained success by their own ways, either I looked at people and wanted to be like them or was in a fancy world thinking to like something which my soul never really Liked. I was never matured to make judgement of what I really want to be. A person who is always calm, soft, doesn’t talk much, likes Indian Culture, prefers the traditional-trendy way rather than the Modern-Meaningless way, never easily likes any English movies and its sidcoms and albums, gives a Sigh to every friend of his who boasts Western Culture with nothing but a quiet move away. I am a unique Indian who still feels that his country has the oldest civilisation of the world; may be lacking in technology but certainly not with its values- after all this is the country where I see Some of the wisest people ever on Earth really lived with those standout next to Godly qualities of being humble, patience and love.

All those wonderful books really thought me and have matured me and as long as my memory could recollect back I’ve always complained about the Educational system that we follow and I still complain about the same. Perhaps, I should agree now that I never really felt satisfaction in any job except taking seminar to my class mates and thinking of some super cool ideas to reach to them the concepts and ideas. Teaching alone is not something that I am excited about, I have this idea of of what I believe would be the next real big thing from IT that will help and improve people living and certainly you’ll laugh if I disclose it and I am never really worried as I am prepared to be laughed at. I have this thought written deep inside my heart: ” I don’t want the future generations to face the trouble that this education system offered me with”  and the Future of the education system as I see from now and envision will be something like that of the Khan Academy. My ultimate satisfaction would be something of a similar kind system becoming our Education system.

Going back to the first paragraph that rediscovering me-again part was brought about by the unfortunate death of my favourite teacher who was stabbed to death in a Class room about a month before by her own Student. Media might have made debates but every single student whom she took class knows her calibre and how different she was from the usual bunch of regular teachers; I still remember when she told me in person : ” We had a very bad Physics teacher and we people never really understood anything and so only I wanted to become a teacher”. And it was in her funeral that I re-discovered  myself. I certainly liked teaching my class mates and felt joy in doing the same in the seminars that were imposed on my head. Coming back this is what our country lacks, Good Teachers, there are a whole bunch infact 99% of the teachers these days are useless. The reason offcourse is that all good capable candidates get fed up, become selfish and start to live their own life, rather then living by that ultimate Indian Quality of Helping others.  And probably the only way this could be changed is by making teaching a highly socially respected job perhaps a teacher should inspire that same Awfulness an IAS officer gets; both in terms of the Money and Respect. ( More sound ideas might be possible but I strongly believe this could be the only solution that would have some pratical influence.)  This idea was brought about in a class chat with one my dear friend RamBalaji Subbaiyan – A friend who has that magical Spark in his Eyes, whom I see will reach places in the years to come.

Life is not a easy cup of cake and nothing can remind us better, then the recent 100th Hundred by Sachin Tendulkar. It took him 1 year & 5 days to reach it and he himself admited it was the toughest of the lot and this by itself proves nothing is easy in this world, and I was so much so influenced that those words that he spoke which was Broadcasted on air went deep into my brain cells and Heart: ” Chase your dreams and at some point in life it will become a reality, Be patient, Practise, basics is the key, never stop learning” . Pretty much the same that all those great books and great people also say:

” When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way”, – Paulo Cohelo

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”, – Paulo Cohelo

“Why you fail to have a Great Career” –  Larry Smith

” Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish”,”Your Time is Limited, So Don’t Waste It Living Someone Else’s Life”  – Steve Jobs

Chase your Dreams, Be patient and one day dreams come True” – Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar

I have nothing but I have a mother and I am grateful to her, all my life I had a choice of hate and love. I chose love and I’m here. – A.R.Rahman

All that I wanted to say to the reader is that I am Hoping for the best, rediscovering myself again, with Bigger and Huger dreams now, living a new life, belonging to a different category of people – Chasing my true dreams 🙂